My dear boys,
My dad used to write to me often, at least once every week. I always enjoyed his letters though at times, I did not agree with what he had to say. Now, having grown older, I realize how much wisdom he imparted in those letters. I was also fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with him, even though he frequently traveled and was very occupied in his work. He realized the value of spending time with family and always found time to be with me and other family members despite his busy schedule.
In this letter, I am sharing a dozen lessons. Some of these I learnt from my father and some I have learnt over the years. Just like I did not agree with everything my dad had to say in his letters, you may also not agree with everything I have to say here but I hope you will save this letter and other letters I have written to you and those that I will write in the future (I have saved most of my dad’s letters) and read them when you get older. In a decade or two from now, more likely than not, you will also appreciate the contents of these letters.
1. To succeed, we have to work hard, but more importantly, be very productive while we work.
Working productively is more important than working hard.
While the values and rewards of hard work should not be underestimated, it is also important to understand that how productively we work is far more important. For example, two persons are tasked with digging holes. The first person digs 5 holes and the second person digs 2 holes in the same amount of time. The first person has been much more productive than the second person and that will make a lot of difference in what they achieve in life.
2. Do not underestimate the role of chance in life.
Luck, together with hard work, plays an equally important role in our success.
To a large extent, wealth and poverty are caused by the choices we make, the decisions we take, and the paths we choose to travel on. But we cannot underestimate the role chance and luck plays in what we are able to accomplish in life. The families we are born into, the values we adopt, our work ethics, the city/country we live in, as well as the people we happen to interact with along the way, all play a huge role in what we are able to or unable to accomplish. Keep this in mind when interacting with other people and always, always be nice to everybody. If the other person is totally grotesque, and you are just not able to be nice, do not, DO NOT ever be rude or disparaging towards them. Just leave them alone and move on.
3. Money is important but never a measure of success except in a materialistic world.
Money is important, and valuable, but not a measure of success.
I have come to realize and strongly believe that true success in life is measured by how happy our family life is, how many friends we have, how many people will miss us when we depart from the world, and how many will genuinely shed tears when we do depart. As previously mentioned, treat people well, always make them feel they are the most important people in your life, and always make them feel important. If our family life is unhappy, or we do not have true friends, we are merely surviving, not thriving.
4. The secret to amassing wealth.
How much wealth you amass depends not only on how much you earn but more importantly, on how much you save and whether you live within your means or not.
Thus, for example, a person who earns $100,000 a year but spends $110,000 a year will eventually find himself poorer than someone who earns $50,000 per year but spends only $40,000 per year. The takeaway is that we should stay within our means, never get into debt, and never buy things we do not need. It is also foolish to spend money on expensive designer brands when something less expensive works as well. In writing your answers to a college examination, you will not get a higher grade just because you wrote with a Mont Blanc pen that may cost $200 versus writing with a $0.99 cents Bic pen. Save money and let it compound. Over time, it will grow beyond your wildest expectations. Once you’ve built up some savings, you will feel a sense of security that frivolous spenders can never experience, you will have options on how to spend your time, and financial worries will not keep you up at night. You can also retire early from active work if you so choose, but never retire from being engaged. Always be engaged in something productive and activities that bring you joy because then only will your mind stay healthy.
5. Time is one our best friend but can also be our greatest enemy.
Another huge benefit of being wealthy is the flexibility it provides us in choosing how we consume our time.
To a great extent, money allows us to do what we want and when we want. We can hire people to do tasks we would not want to do ourselves, or that we have limited skills in; wealth allows us to pursue that we desire without being forced to engage in tasks just because we have to. Just like money, good use of time brings us riches whereas if we spend our time frivolously, it will bring us pain and misery.
6. Dreaming big is important but also make sure you win small along the way.
Dream big but do not forsake winning small.
Before we can achieve anything, it is imperative that we dream of achieving that thing and then diligently work towards our goal. We rarely, almost never, achieve anything that we believe we cannot achieve. While working towards our bigger goals, it is important that we achieve something every day, no matter how small. Remember that even small successes, over time, can add up to something big. For example, your ambition may be to become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. For you to win that role, you will have to engage in smaller roles and climb the steps one by one. Only when you prove yourself in smaller roles, will you be entrusted with larger roles.
7. Develop a fluid thought process and never, ever be adamant about anything.
It is good to have opinions but extremely dangerous to stick to those opinions in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Times change, situations change, and conditions change. As soon as you can adapt to the new realties and change your opinion and your stance, the less frustrations you will experience. Albert Einstein famously said, “a person who cannot change his mind, cannot change anything.” Thus, customs, traditions, and ‘the way things have always been done’ should be respected only as long as they are relevant to the existing situation. Allow your values, actions, and goals to evolve. Do not be shameful about changing your mind if circumstances so demand.
8. Everything has a price.
I dislike using the oft used cliché “there is no free lunch” but it is true. Yes, you may get something for free sometime, but eventually, you will have to pay for it.
The price of being always busy is lack of time with friends and family. The price of earning compounded returns on your money is sacrificing some desires now and practicing frugality. The price of neglecting your health is the large medical bills and a difficult life you face in your later years. Everything worthwhile has a cost which we are unable to estimate or ever calculate presently. Thus, realize that time, relationships, autonomy, and creativity are as valuable, sometimes even more, than the physical cash in your bank account.
9. Nothing is MORE PRECIOUS or MORE IMPORTANT than family.
Family is our most valuable asset.
This is one of the most basic but a profound truth. When we are young and naïve, we rarely appreciate this but eventually we do. Sadly, some never do and not only they, but their family also pays a price for their disregard of this truism. You may not appreciate this concept now but eventually you will. I am not ashamed to confess that when I was young and restless, I also believed that my friends and neighbors were more important than family, but I now realize the folly of that believe. We neglect and/or abandon our family and find solace in friends; our profession; social, cultural, and professional institutions; in our hobbies; or even in sheer laziness. The day of reckoning arrives, and we pay the price. I can only hope you also realize sooner rather than later the importance of family and the role it plays in our success, in our well-being, and in our happiness. Any time spent with being positively engaged with family is time well spent and will yield rich dividends.
10. You stand much to gain when you give.
It is wise to be frugal except when it comes to giving to the less fortunate, the underprivileged, and the vulnerable.
Please go back up and read the second advice. Our success and accomplishments are not only because of our hard work and perseverance but also because we have been lucky. Unfortunately, luck does not bestow its largess equally or even to the most deserving. If we have been lucky, it is our duty to make others lucky. There are millions of people who face adversity because of no fault of theirs. We should come to their rescue as much as we can and as often as we can. You may feel that by giving to others without getting back anything in return is foolish. Actually, let me convince you if I can, that not giving, when you can, is foolish. I have personally experienced, time and time again, the benefits of giving. Feeding someone who is unable to afford food, providing warm clothing to those living on streets, bandaging someone’s wound and all such acts of kindness enrich your life in ways you cannot imagine. The benefits may not be felt immediately, or even soon enough, but they will one day provide you satisfaction and solace that you could never purchase for cash. Have faith and you will not be disappointed.
11. Laughter is the best medicine.
There is no medicine better than a regular, daily dose of laughter.
Laugh and make others laugh and do so as often as you can. I guarantee you will be healthier, more energetic, and more positive. It will also cut down your medical expenses significantly. Give it a try for a few weeks and you will feel the difference in your mood, in your health, and in your environment.
12. Do not blindly accept any advice you are given.
Whenever you are given any advice, including these, examine them and reject them if they feel inappropriate or irrelevant.
Remember, that every printed word is not true nor is everything that is spoken. People do have their own agenda’s, their beliefs, their objectives. Also, the values someone harbors may contrast with yours. So, always use your judgement and only follow advice that seems relevant and is in alignment with what you believe in and helps you realize your aspirations. Watch what people do much more than what they say. Actions, as you know, are always more eloquent than words. At times, people may want to deliberately mislead you but do not assume that people are always malicious. More often, they mean well but on occasions when they are nefarious, your experiences should alert your senses and you should act prudently. The world you live in is different than the world I have lived in, and my world was different than the world in which my parents lived in. As the world becomes more urbanized, more techno-centric, more informed, values shift and so do our attitudes. Be mindful of such changes and your conclusions will be right more often than they are erroneous.
Hope you find what I have said here worthwhile, relevant, and inspirational. In bringing you both up, and speaking only for myself, my focus has been to always provide as much comfort to you both as necessary but also not spoil you. I often feel I failed in this endeavor. I wish I were more rigorous and made you more self-sufficient. Well, let not my failure make you complacent. You can impose a more rigorous life on yourself and pay the price for all that you want to achieve now (when it is easier) rather than later.
Lots of love and the warmest of hugs!
Be bold. Always have a good courage.
Dad
June 20, 2020
Life is Precious….Live Well
